Try Harder

try harderOne of the neat parts of leading a marriage ministry in my church is having access to several cool blogs and marriage tidbits from the “experts” in the field. I’ve enjoyed reading their posts and this particular one really hit me:

http://marriedpeople.org/couples/2014/03/parenthood-the-marriage-fight/

You have to read the post before what I’m about to say makes any sense, so I’ll wait while you click  . . .

Okay. If you know me personally, then you know why that hit me. I would have given my right arm to have someone say that to my husband – “Well then, try harder.” I felt like I was giving this marriage all that I had and all I wanted was for him to do the same. Yes, I know that I can’t speak for what my husband was or was not giving to our marriage because I’m not him. And, I don’t want to paint him in a negative light. All I’m saying is that I relate to the frustration this father felt and I honestly think I’d do the same thing down the road if it were my son or daughter whose marriage was on the line. I’d say, “Try harder!”

From personal experience I can safely say that I gave everything I could to this marriage. I don’t regret a second of it. Nor do I regret reconciling with my husband. Having the attitude of tenacity and determination is always a good thing, in my book. It seems so easy today to just quit – whether it be quitting your job, your marriage, your exercise or diet regime, or whatever. We make excuses and just give up. Why do we do that?

So often we miss the blessings that can come from determination and hard work. Looking at my family today I can literally not imagine a second without them. The hard work was worth it. I felt the same way when I lost a bunch of weight. The hard work was worth it. When I finished my first 5K . . .  yep, you guessed it, all worth it! Maybe we need to keep our eye on the prize instead of dwelling on how hard things are for us right this very second. Keeping the possible blessings out front will give us a target to aim for. And if we never reach that target or see those blessings? Well, would we really regret working hard for something when we know it’s the right thing to do? Of course not. Even if my marriage falls apart down the road, I don’t regret a thing. I can look my kids in the face and tell them, without a doubt, that mom did all she could do to save her marriage. And that would be the truth of it. No regrets.

So, today, let’s try harder to (you fill in the blank). I’m sure we all have those things we feel the temptation to give up on. But, is it important enough to try harder? I bet it is.

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About revmonica

I'm the Director of Growth Ministries at Williamsons Chapel United Methodist Church and the proud wife of Steve and mommy to Morgan and Gavin.
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