Hello friends. I have been MIA for over a month now. In a nutshell, my husband and I are separated. It’s been a LONG month for me. I haven’t wanted to blog because all I’d probably blog about would be my own personal stuff. And, I didn’t want this blog to turn into my own personal journal. So, I have waited until I could write with clarity and resolve. And, I wanted to be sure to stick to purpose of this blog, which is to share musings about faith and life and church community. Yes, I could probably write a book right now on faith and life as your marriage falls apart. But, that is certainly not applicable to all who read this. So, I will refrain.
What I will do, however, is pontificate for a moment on what is really “normal” for each of us. Divorce is like having a death occur – one moment, you are happy and life is “normal.” The next moment your “normal” has turned into something you don’t recognize anymore (and don’t like at all). Grief is a powerful thing and it hits you like a freight train. You literally have to navigate this unrecognizable life with new eyes and stamina that you never knew you had. I wake up each day and say to myself, “Well, I survived yesterday. So, I guess I’ll survive today.” Yea, depressing isn’t it?
I try to remember “normal” in my life only to now wonder if it ever really was. My friend tells me that I need to carve out a “new normal” for my life. It will be different, but still good. After 17 years with my husband, this is like telling me to cut off my right arm and learn to only function with my left one and then, one day, finding that “normal.” It sounds, in theory, like it’s doable and what we must do in situations like this . . . if only to survive yet another day. So, I’m trying to find my “new normal.” I’m not sure what it will look like, or how long I’m going to continuously compare it to the “normal” that I loved so much. But, I need to try. I know I do.
As I move forward, and I will, future blog posts will continue to pontificate with the best of them. As I pour through ministry and life, I hope you will continue the journey with me. I will do my best to refrain from mentioning impending divorce and stuff like that. But, it will most likely come up since that is now my “new normal.” Thank you for sticking with me. Prayers would be appreciated. Blessings will be around the corner . . . just trying to survive until then.