My New Normal

The_New_Normal_title_cardHello friends.  I have been MIA for over a month now.  In a nutshell, my husband and I are separated.  It’s been a LONG month for me.  I haven’t wanted to blog because all I’d probably blog about would be my own personal stuff.  And, I didn’t want this blog to turn into my own personal journal.  So, I have waited until I could write with clarity and resolve.  And, I wanted to be sure to stick to purpose of this blog, which is to share musings about faith and life and church community.  Yes, I could probably write a book right now on faith and life as your marriage falls apart.  But, that is certainly not applicable to all who read this.  So, I will refrain.

What I will do, however, is pontificate for a moment on what is really “normal” for each of us.  Divorce is like having a death occur – one moment, you are happy and life is “normal.”  The next moment your “normal” has turned into something you don’t recognize anymore (and don’t like at all).  Grief is a powerful thing and it hits you like a freight train.  You literally have to navigate this unrecognizable life with new eyes and stamina that you never knew you had.  I wake up each day and say to myself, “Well, I survived yesterday.  So, I guess I’ll survive today.”  Yea, depressing isn’t it?

I try to remember “normal” in my life only to now wonder if it ever really was.  My friend tells me that I need to carve out a “new normal” for my life.  It will be different, but still good.  After 17 years with my husband, this is like telling me to cut off my right arm and learn to only function with my left one and then, one day, finding that “normal.”  It sounds, in theory, like it’s doable and what we must do in situations like this . . . if only to survive yet another day.  So, I’m trying to find my “new normal.”  I’m not sure what it will look like, or how long I’m going to continuously compare it to the “normal” that I loved so much. But, I need to try.  I know I do.

As I move forward, and I will, future blog posts will continue to pontificate with the best of them.  As I pour through ministry and life, I hope you will continue the journey with me.  I will do my best to refrain from mentioning impending divorce and stuff like that.  But, it will most likely come up since that is now my “new normal.”  Thank you for sticking with me.  Prayers would be appreciated.  Blessings will be around the corner . . . just trying to survive until then.

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About revmonica

I'm the Director of Growth Ministries at Williamsons Chapel United Methodist Church and the proud wife of Steve and mommy to Morgan and Gavin.
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4 Responses to My New Normal

  1. Thank you for writing about this, Monica. Although I am considerably older than you, I am going through something very similar. It does upend one’s entire life. My prayers shall be with you.

  2. Monica, I was wondering where you’d been. Please know that you have our understanding and emotional support. People in ministry are not immune to this kind of thing happening. I used to be in ministry and then had to walk through an era when everything collapsed. There were times when I didn’t think I even had faith the size of a mustard seed, but I did. It was in there, buried, and it was enough. I can’t speak for all of your readers, but for me, its okay if you want to use your blog to journal. In fact, now that I’ve been through those harsh years (remarried 10 years but still have challenges), I think the best ministers are those who are transparent, who are brave enough to be honest about their flaws and struggles, while in the midst of them instead of just after they’ve “conquered” them. We hold these truths in jars of clay. . . Love and heart-felt hugs, Joan

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